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Thursday, December 18, 2008
Domestic quarrel
During a domestic quarrel our Sardarji hid himself under a bed. At last his wife found him out. She asked him to come out. To this he replied: "I am not afraid of you. After all I am a man. If I say I won't come out, I won't.
To look pretty
Little Munni: Auntie, why do you put that powder on your face?
Auntie: To make myself look pretty.
Little Munni: Then why doesn't it work?
Auntie: To make myself look pretty.
Little Munni: Then why doesn't it work?
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Long Indian name
A small Indian boy appeared in the class of a London school teacher for the first time and she asked him his name. 'Venkataratnam Narasimha Rattaiah," he said. When she asked, "How do you spell it?" he replied, "My mother helps me."
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Santa's confession to his fiancee
'Before we get married,' said Santa to his fiancee,'I want to confess some affairs I've had in the past.'
'But you told me all about those a couple of weeks ago,' replied the girl.
'Yes, darling,' Santa explained, 'but that was a couple of weeks ago.'
'But you told me all about those a couple of weeks ago,' replied the girl.
'Yes, darling,' Santa explained, 'but that was a couple of weeks ago.'
Monday, October 27, 2008
Monday, October 13, 2008
The great sardar kidnap
A Sardar was down on his luck. In order to raise some money, he decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.
He went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I've kidnapped you."
He then wrote a note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put 2 lakhs in cash in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, A Sardar."
The Sardar then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.
The next morning the Sardar checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree.
He opened the bag and found the exact amount of money as demanded with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow Sardar?"
He went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I've kidnapped you."
He then wrote a note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put 2 lakhs in cash in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, A Sardar."
The Sardar then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.
The next morning the Sardar checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree.
He opened the bag and found the exact amount of money as demanded with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow Sardar?"
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Indian music videos with English subtitles
With millions of views of the following Indian music videos with english subtitles, i don't know whether you have missed out these videos from buffalax, a youtuber. He came up with english lyrics for these songs. The lyrics might not be even close to what these songs really means but i am certain that you'll crack up. Just watch and see it for yourself.
Indian Thriller
Benny lava
Tunak Tunak Tun
Benny lava
Tunak Tunak Tun
Why do you wear that for?
Sardarji watched his flat-chested wife as she tried on her new brassiere.
'What did you buy that for?' he asked. 'You haven't got anything to put in it.'
'You wear shorts don't you?' she retorted.
'What did you buy that for?' he asked. 'You haven't got anything to put in it.'
'You wear shorts don't you?' she retorted.
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Santa Singh's Interview
Interviewer: Tell me the opposite of good.
Santa Singh: Bad.
Interviewer: Come.
Santa Singh: Go.
Interviewer: Ugly.
Santa Singh: Pichlli.
Interviewer: U G L Y?
Santa Singh: PICHLLY !!!!!!!
Interviewer: Shut Up.
Santa Singh: Keep Talking.
Interviewer: Get Out.
Santa Singh: Come In.
Interviewer: Oh my God.
Santa Singh: Oh your Devil.
Interviewer: You are Rejected.
Santa Singh: I am Selected.
Santa Singh: Bad.
Interviewer: Come.
Santa Singh: Go.
Interviewer: Ugly.
Santa Singh: Pichlli.
Interviewer: U G L Y?
Santa Singh: PICHLLY !!!!!!!
Interviewer: Shut Up.
Santa Singh: Keep Talking.
Interviewer: Get Out.
Santa Singh: Come In.
Interviewer: Oh my God.
Santa Singh: Oh your Devil.
Interviewer: You are Rejected.
Santa Singh: I am Selected.
an Indian who wannabe a true American
An Indian migrated to America , and moved into an American neighbourhood;
His American neighbour went next door to wish him welcome.He was shocked to see the man from India in his nice backyard chasing ten chickens around like mad. "Must be an Indian custom," he thought to himself.
Deciding he could put off the welcome till a later date, he went home.
The next day, he decided he was going to welcome the Indian man again.
When he looked through his window, he saw the Indian man urinate into a cup and drink it. "Must be an Indian custom," he thought to himself. Deciding he could put off the welcome till the next day, he went on with other stuff.
The third day, he was determined to welcome the Indian man. At his gate, he saw the Indian man with his ear pressed against a cow's big fat butt.
Seeing this, he became disgusted and went up to the Indian man.
"I'm sorry sir, I did want to wish you a warm welcome, but I cannot stand your crazy Indian customs!" He yelled at the Indian .
The Indian looked confused and answered. "Sorry sir, I think you are mistaken. These are actually American customs. I was told, that in order to be a true American, you have to chase chicks, get piss drunk, and listen to bullshit.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Faster than the Japanese's blah blah blah...
There was a Japanese who went to India for sightseeing.
On the last day, he hired a cab and told the driver to drive to the Airport.During the journey, a Honda drove past the taxi.
Thereupon, the man leaned out of the window excitedly and yelled, "Honda, very fast! Made in Japan !!!.
After a while, a Toyota sped past the taxi and again the Japanese man leaned out of the window and yelled, "Toyota, very fast! Made in Japan!"
And then a Mitsubishi sped past the taxi. For the third time, the Japanese leaned out of the window and yelled, "Mitsubishi, very fast! Made in Japan!"
The driver was a little angry, but he kept quiet. And this went on for quite a number of cars.
Finally, the taxi came to the airport. The fare was 800 rupees. !!!!
The Japanese exclaimed, "What??รข€¦ so expensive!"
There upon, the driver yelled back, "Meter, Made in India VERY VERY FAST !!!!!
On the last day, he hired a cab and told the driver to drive to the Airport.During the journey, a Honda drove past the taxi.
Thereupon, the man leaned out of the window excitedly and yelled, "Honda, very fast! Made in Japan !!!.
After a while, a Toyota sped past the taxi and again the Japanese man leaned out of the window and yelled, "Toyota, very fast! Made in Japan!"
And then a Mitsubishi sped past the taxi. For the third time, the Japanese leaned out of the window and yelled, "Mitsubishi, very fast! Made in Japan!"
The driver was a little angry, but he kept quiet. And this went on for quite a number of cars.
Finally, the taxi came to the airport. The fare was 800 rupees. !!!!
The Japanese exclaimed, "What??รข€¦ so expensive!"
There upon, the driver yelled back, "Meter, Made in India VERY VERY FAST !!!!!
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Disk Full
Santa and Banta work in a software company. One day, they were to move their m/cs to another building. Banta was having a tough time carrying his machine.
Santa : "My m/c has 500 MB disk. See how easily I am carrying it. Yours has just 250 MB. Can't you carry even this much?"
Banta : "But yours is empty and my disk is full"!!!
Santa : "My m/c has 500 MB disk. See how easily I am carrying it. Yours has just 250 MB. Can't you carry even this much?"
Banta : "But yours is empty and my disk is full"!!!
Monday, March 24, 2008
Russel Peters on Indian Accent
Stand-up comedian Russel Peters giving a hilarious show on Indian accent.
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Indian Midget Dancer
This Indian midget has got the moves..I don't have much info about this clip except that the man in the cot is a famous and popular Indian actor 'Rajnikanth'..Oh Man! i like his style of lighting up the cigarettes in movies
Friday, February 29, 2008
New TV
While visiting Santa's house, Banta noticed that he had replaced his usual TV with a smaller model.
Thinking that perhaps the larger set has broken down, Banta asked why the small one was there.
"Oh," Santa replied, "I have decided to watch less Tv."
Thinking that perhaps the larger set has broken down, Banta asked why the small one was there.
"Oh," Santa replied, "I have decided to watch less Tv."
Monday, February 25, 2008
Egg Dispute
There was once a Indian and an Pakistani who lived next door to each other. The Indian owned a hen and each morning would look in his garden and pick up one of his hen's eggs for breakfast.
One day he looked into his garden and saw that the hen had laid an egg in the Pakistani's garden. He was about to go next door when he saw the Pakistani pick up the egg. The Indian ran up to the Pakistani and told him that the egg belonged to him because he owned the hen. The Pakistani disagreed because the egg was laid on his property.
They argued for a while until finally the Indian said, "In my family we normally solve disputes by the following actions: I kick you in the balls and time how long it takes you to get back up, then you kick me in the balls and time how long it takes for me to get up, who ever gets up quicker wins the egg."
The Pakistani agreed to this and so the Indian found his heaviest pair of boots and put them on, he took a few steps back, then ran toward the Pakistani and kicked as hard as he could in the balls. The Pakistani fell to the floor clutching his nuts howling in agony for 30 minutes.
Eventually the Pakistani stood up and said, "Now it's my turn to kick you."
The Indian said, "Keep the damn egg!"
One day he looked into his garden and saw that the hen had laid an egg in the Pakistani's garden. He was about to go next door when he saw the Pakistani pick up the egg. The Indian ran up to the Pakistani and told him that the egg belonged to him because he owned the hen. The Pakistani disagreed because the egg was laid on his property.
They argued for a while until finally the Indian said, "In my family we normally solve disputes by the following actions: I kick you in the balls and time how long it takes you to get back up, then you kick me in the balls and time how long it takes for me to get up, who ever gets up quicker wins the egg."
The Pakistani agreed to this and so the Indian found his heaviest pair of boots and put them on, he took a few steps back, then ran toward the Pakistani and kicked as hard as he could in the balls. The Pakistani fell to the floor clutching his nuts howling in agony for 30 minutes.
Eventually the Pakistani stood up and said, "Now it's my turn to kick you."
The Indian said, "Keep the damn egg!"
Friday, February 15, 2008
Elephant ride
Elephant in the truck?!?!...Never heard or saw such things but probably it happens in India
Saturday, January 26, 2008
Shopping in burma bazaar
One sardar came to Madras and wanted to do shopping in burma bazaar.
His tamilian friend told the Sardar that the prices will be costly and hence asked him to bargain for half the price.
Sardar went and asked the price of stereo for which the vendor told 2000 Rs. Sardar asked for Rs.1000. vendor told he can give for Rs.1800 for which sardar told no,no only Rs.900. Vendor told ok , i will give it for 1500 Rs for which sardar bargained for Rs.750.
It was going on like this when finally vendor out of irritation said he will give the Sardar the stereo free of cost. Our sardar asked whether he will give two.
His tamilian friend told the Sardar that the prices will be costly and hence asked him to bargain for half the price.
Sardar went and asked the price of stereo for which the vendor told 2000 Rs. Sardar asked for Rs.1000. vendor told he can give for Rs.1800 for which sardar told no,no only Rs.900. Vendor told ok , i will give it for 1500 Rs for which sardar bargained for Rs.750.
It was going on like this when finally vendor out of irritation said he will give the Sardar the stereo free of cost. Our sardar asked whether he will give two.
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Laloo's Son Marriage Proposal
Laloo Prasad Yadav talks to his son.
Laloo: I want you to marry a girl of my choice
Son : "I want to choose my own bride".
Laloo : "But the girl is Ambani's daughter."
Son : "Well, in that case...... Yes"
Next Laloo approaches Mukesh Ambani
Laloo : "I have a husband for your daughter."
Ambani : "But my daughter is too young to marry."
Laloo : "But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank."
Ambani : "Ah, in that case.....Yes"
Finally Laloo goes to see the president of the World Bank.
Laloo : "I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president."
President : "But I already have more vice-presidents than I need."
Laloo : "But this young man is Ambani's son-in-law."
President : "Ah, in that case.......Yes."
This is how business is done!!!
Laloo: I want you to marry a girl of my choice
Son : "I want to choose my own bride".
Laloo : "But the girl is Ambani's daughter."
Son : "Well, in that case...... Yes"
Next Laloo approaches Mukesh Ambani
Laloo : "I have a husband for your daughter."
Ambani : "But my daughter is too young to marry."
Laloo : "But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank."
Ambani : "Ah, in that case.....Yes"
Finally Laloo goes to see the president of the World Bank.
Laloo : "I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president."
President : "But I already have more vice-presidents than I need."
Laloo : "But this young man is Ambani's son-in-law."
President : "Ah, in that case.......Yes."
This is how business is done!!!
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
A Bengali and a Punjabi In ICU
A man was brought in to the hospital intensive care ward, put in a bed, tubes coming out everywhere. A week later, another man was admitted, in a similar condition.
Both lay there, machines pinging, tubes poking etc. a couple more weeks before one of them had the strength to raise his hand and point to himself and say, "Bengali."
The other patient signaled he had heard, raised his own hand, and said, "Punjabi."
This act tired them out so badly it was a week before the first summoned up the strength to say, "Calcutta."
Other replied in a weedy frail voice, "Ludhiana."
Once more, the strain was too much for them both and they passed out. Days passed before the first patient managed to again point to himself and say, "Asit."
Replied the other, "Santa."
A few hours later, Asit managed to point to himself again and rasp out weakly, "Cancer."
Santa responded, "Sagittarius."
Both lay there, machines pinging, tubes poking etc. a couple more weeks before one of them had the strength to raise his hand and point to himself and say, "Bengali."
The other patient signaled he had heard, raised his own hand, and said, "Punjabi."
This act tired them out so badly it was a week before the first summoned up the strength to say, "Calcutta."
Other replied in a weedy frail voice, "Ludhiana."
Once more, the strain was too much for them both and they passed out. Days passed before the first patient managed to again point to himself and say, "Asit."
Replied the other, "Santa."
A few hours later, Asit managed to point to himself again and rasp out weakly, "Cancer."
Santa responded, "Sagittarius."
Sardarji in cybercafe
Once sardarji entered a cybercafe to check his mails.It was crowded so he had to wait.As he waited he saw a man checking his mails.He stood behind him and watched.The man typed his password and was waiting when sardarji cried out "Yes yes I know your password.I can read your mails now.
"Surprised the man asked "Oh yeah, tell me what is it".
Sardarji replied " Five stars."
"Surprised the man asked "Oh yeah, tell me what is it".
Sardarji replied " Five stars."
Fifteen inches curtain
Sardarji enters a store that sell curtains.
He tells the salesman, "I would like to buy a pair of pink curtains."
The salesman assured him that they had a large selection of pink curtains. He showed him several patterns, but Santa seemed to be having a hard time choosing.
Finally, he selects a lovely pink floral print.
The salesman asked what size curtains he needed.
Sardarji replies, "Fifteen inches."
"Fifteen inches?" asked the salesman. "That sounds very small, what room are they for?"
Sardarji tells him that they aren't for a room, they are for his computer monitor.
The surprised salesman replies, "But, sir, computers do not have curtains!"
Sardarji says, "Hellllooooooooo........I've got Windows!"
He tells the salesman, "I would like to buy a pair of pink curtains."
The salesman assured him that they had a large selection of pink curtains. He showed him several patterns, but Santa seemed to be having a hard time choosing.
Finally, he selects a lovely pink floral print.
The salesman asked what size curtains he needed.
Sardarji replies, "Fifteen inches."
"Fifteen inches?" asked the salesman. "That sounds very small, what room are they for?"
Sardarji tells him that they aren't for a room, they are for his computer monitor.
The surprised salesman replies, "But, sir, computers do not have curtains!"
Sardarji says, "Hellllooooooooo........I've got Windows!"
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
Funny short sms sardar jokes
Here are some great funny short sms jokes based on sardars. If you think you have a better sardar joke than any of the jokes listed in here, please do use the comment form to submit your jokes.
Why are sardar's immune to Mad Cow Disease?
It only affects the brain.
How do sardars go through the forest?
They take the psycho path.
Why did a sardar tip-toe past the medicine cabinet? He didn't want to wake the sleeping tablets!
What do sardars and beer bottles have in common? They are both empty from the neck up!
TEACHER: Well, at least there's one thing I can say about your son.
Sardarji: What's that?
TEACHER: With grades like these, he couldn't be cheating.
A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell. Santa does not turns up for 4 days. Lady calls again, Santa replies: I am coming daily from 4 days, I press the bell, but no one comes out.
Sardarji goes to the doctors and says, "Doctor, I cant stop my hands from shaking!"
Doctor replies, "Do you drink much?"
Sardarji says, "No, I spill most of it!"
Sardarji is at the airport.
- Name?
- Santa .
- Sex?
- Three to five times a week.
- No, no... I mean, male or female?
- Male, female, sometimes camel.
- Holy cow!
- Yes, cow, sheep, animals in general.
- But isn ´ t that hostile?
- Horse style, doggy style, any style!
- Oh dear!
- No, no! Deer run too fast! :-))
How do you make a sardar laugh on Saturday?
Tell her a joke on Wednesday.
A sardar saw a beautiful girl. He went and kissed her.
GIRL: “stupid,what are you doin…?”
Sardar: ” B.Com Final Year.
How do you keep a Sardar busy for hours?
Write "Please turn over" on both sides of a piece of paper.
How do you confuse a sardar?
You don't. They're born that way.
There was a sardar driving down the road one day. He glanced to his right and noticed another sardar sitting in a nearby field. He was in a boat rowing, with no water in sight. The sardar angrily pulled his car over and yelled at the rowing sardar, “What do you think you're doing? It's things like this that give us sardars a bad name. If I could swim, I'd come out there and kick your butt!”
Q : Why do people other than sardars likes jokes based on sardarjis so much?
A : Because they can understand them.
Why are sardar's immune to Mad Cow Disease?
It only affects the brain.
How do sardars go through the forest?
They take the psycho path.
Why did a sardar tip-toe past the medicine cabinet? He didn't want to wake the sleeping tablets!
What do sardars and beer bottles have in common? They are both empty from the neck up!
TEACHER: Well, at least there's one thing I can say about your son.
Sardarji: What's that?
TEACHER: With grades like these, he couldn't be cheating.
A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell. Santa does not turns up for 4 days. Lady calls again, Santa replies: I am coming daily from 4 days, I press the bell, but no one comes out.
Sardarji goes to the doctors and says, "Doctor, I cant stop my hands from shaking!"
Doctor replies, "Do you drink much?"
Sardarji says, "No, I spill most of it!"
Sardarji is at the airport.
- Name?
- Santa .
- Sex?
- Three to five times a week.
- No, no... I mean, male or female?
- Male, female, sometimes camel.
- Holy cow!
- Yes, cow, sheep, animals in general.
- But isn ´ t that hostile?
- Horse style, doggy style, any style!
- Oh dear!
- No, no! Deer run too fast! :-))
How do you make a sardar laugh on Saturday?
Tell her a joke on Wednesday.
A sardar saw a beautiful girl. He went and kissed her.
GIRL: “stupid,what are you doin…?”
Sardar: ” B.Com Final Year.
How do you keep a Sardar busy for hours?
Write "Please turn over" on both sides of a piece of paper.
How do you confuse a sardar?
You don't. They're born that way.
There was a sardar driving down the road one day. He glanced to his right and noticed another sardar sitting in a nearby field. He was in a boat rowing, with no water in sight. The sardar angrily pulled his car over and yelled at the rowing sardar, “What do you think you're doing? It's things like this that give us sardars a bad name. If I could swim, I'd come out there and kick your butt!”
Q : Why do people other than sardars likes jokes based on sardarjis so much?
A : Because they can understand them.
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